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We’re using our paper marriage date as more of a just us kind of day and letting everyone treat next month’s date as our wedding and anniversary. If the bride is calm during the planning process, you can bet everyone … You can also search for samples online and find inspiration from them. If you're planning a big wedding ceremony and reception to take place months or years away, you may want to consider getting legally married before the party. I'll keep you all posted and let you know what we decide! Every family and every decision is different. It's a practice that's gaining popularity for various reasons, from privacy to getting things squared away legally before a wedding ceremony. We got paper married a few months ago at the DMV for legal reasons. We're starting to live together in January and don't want to deal with changing contracts. It cost $35 at the dmv for us. So we were thinking of getting legally married this summer, but still considering ourselves engaged (no rings, not telling anyone, no name changing, etc.) Although I didn’t need to, it made me FEEL like I had to justify why I was marrying my partner, because my family members kept asking why we were doing it, if only for the monetary gain. Yup, we did it. The last thing I want is for our loved ones to think that we don't care about them enough to invite them to our special day. Apply to become a real bride blogger here ►. I would have to share the news with friends and relatives and hope that people would still be willing to celebrate at the reception as if our marriage was brand-new. No harm no foul imo. I wonder if all brides have thought about it. It's just a bureaucratic thing to get him healthcare and we don't want to be seen as actually married before we have a ceremony in front of our friends and family, so he doesn't want to tell anyone if we do the legal part sooner. Featured: TRS Coral Hotel, Costa Mujeres, Mexico. My parents did this 30 years ago and never told my grandparents. Sheri Stritof has written about marriage and relationships for 20+ years. We got legally married February 2018 and our wedding is not til this February 2020. My dad is helping, so I'm wondering if we should at least tell him. The officiant returns the certificate, but no record is kept, except the judge's record, and the file is sealed. The Spruce uses cookies to provide you with a great user experience. His quality of life>>wedding. I have friends who did the same, got married early for visa reasons and never told their family. A civil secret marriage is a marriage that is not revealed to family and friends. Our wedding date is next summer (couldn't get married any sooner because our friends and family are all scattered around the country), but my fiance has a chronic illness and shitty healthcare, and adding him to my insurance would give him access to a much higher quality of care and let him get a medical device that could prevent life-threatening emergencies. But although I would be happy for them, will everyone else see it the same way? Some others have found out since, we arent "hiding" it, we just arent coming out and shouting it to the world. We will use that date for our anniversary, etc. Just do what best for your FH. Your friends will be happier. Yet another friend, Margi, confessed that she and her husband got hitched three months before their big day, too. I’m sure that even if you do tell your friends/family that they would understand! The officiant may provide you with a template. Introducing "One Thing": A New Video Series, The Spruce Gardening & Plant Care Review Board, The Spruce Renovations and Repair Review Board, The immigration status of one partner is at stake, A destination wedding is planned and the international legal processes are challenging, Family disapproval of the choice of a spouse or parental concerns about the couple's ages.

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