good and bad qualities of a friend

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Sometimes our friends will put up boundaries that at first glance may seem unloving or rejecting.

However, that's not all that friendship is about. A best friend accepts you at your worst. Knows you inside out. THis will result in increased connection, intimacy and far greater relationship satisfaction. I’m sure he’d love to hear from you.” And if they inquire some more: “It’s not my place to share John’s stuff with anyone so it would be best if you just asked him yourself.” Be conscious of what you share. For example when a mutual friend says “Hey, do you know how John is doing, I haven’t seen him in awhile?” and you respond “John’s ok, still dealing with all his marriage issues, but I think he’s doing better.” You meant no harm, but you just betrayed John’s confidence. These characteristics are a starting point to finding the perfect friend that fits you. Sometimes we unwittingly share our friends’ stuff with others and this is very harmful. Good friends are trustworthy. 7. Even pain. Our phones are glued to our hands and we react to every ping, ding and vibration. It’s one of the most watched TED talks and for good reason. The art of listening is such a rare quality these days. Don’t interrupt others when they are talking. “I know you tend to lose your appetite when you’re sad and I just wanted to make sure you were eating enough,” he said as he filled my fridge and kitchen table with the goodies he had just brought me.

Another of the main qualities of a good friend is that they will let you know when they’re hurt by you, confused by you, see you being foolish, and can tell when you’re hiding.

They will also share their life and secrets with … They want to listen to what you have to say and understand what you are feeling.

An ability to accept your differences and how you might differ from someone is pivotal to friendship. True intimacy requires both people to be authentic and vulnerable. Not Judgmental at all.

Trust that they know what is best for them and that they are taking care of themselves the best way they know how, and don’t guilt-trip your loved ones about their boundaries. Those that have common interests like sports or art can make the best of friends. 2. These common interests should be positive, like hobbies or bands, and not destructive, like breaking the law or using drugs. Fights, falling outs, and jealousy can all make a seemingly great friendship seem like it is over. Whenever we put our hearts on the line, there’s always the chance we’ll get hurt. There are always a million opportunities to get offended, but if you can remind yourself, each time hurt surfaces, that nothing anyone ever does or says has anything to do with you, and is simply a reflection of where they are, and the stories going on in their heads, then instead of getting hurt you can smile, keep your heart wide open and go on with your life. Try and listen without an agenda. They genuinely want to make things right with you because they value you and your friendship. They’re never personal. Others are big introverts who truly don’t enjoy being a part of big gatherings, even if they involve celebrating you. When a loved one is hurting or sharing a frustration with you and they don’t explicitly ask you for your advice, just listen. ), a good friend will be by your side helping you through the challenges.

They own their mistakes. Good friends are always ready to lend an ear. It’s exhausting not only for the overly sensitive person, but also for their loved ones who end up having to walk on eggshells. Bad friends simply put you down without any care for your feelings. In high school, friends matter a lot. For teen girls, it can be great to have a friend to talk to about boys or do each other's makeup. Honesty is important in a friendship.

Stop trying to fix your friends and their lives, and instead get back in your own business and focus on your growth. It is hard to be friends with someone that you have no common interests with. Having someone that you get along with and have similar interests with can fill the day. Good friends like to be around you.

They will tell you the truth even if it might hurt your feelings a little. Try and listen without judgement.

Trust that you have no idea what’s best for them. Be that friend. They hold themselves accountable for their bad or hurtful behavior. A good friendship requires true intimacy, for it is this kind of intimacy that gives us the connection we ultimately crave as human beings. She forgot my birthday.

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We long to be truly seen and heard and to be appreciated for who we are, and when we find that, we know we’ve struck gold.

Promise!

© 2006-2020 LoveToKnow, Corp., except where otherwise noted. That feeling of being super connected, only to then realize, when life throws you a curveball, that none of those facebook friends really know anything meaningful about you, nor are you emotionally close enough to them to call them in your moment of crisis. Try and put yourself in their shoes and their frame of mind as you listen to what they are expressing. Good friends are committed to mending and fixing and doing damage control when shit hits the fan. 2. Most of us are so busy trying to prove ourselves in all our interactions (look at me, I’m smart and knowledgeable!) Trust that if and when they need help, they will reach out. True intimacy has nothing to do with appearances and everything to do with depth. Trust and Loyalty. If need be, they give you space to heal after they’ve hurt you and have genuinely apologized. Whenever any of this is happening, rest assured that you are in their business, which is none of your business.

Taking things personally causes so much unnecessary and unwanted drama in friendships. You might need a hugger while someone else needs to be teased and made to laugh. 2. Sometimes a friend has to make difficult choices, such as taking the car keys from a friend who has been drinking and plans on driving. Friends help each other. So applaud them for having the courage to enforce healthy boundaries and rejoice in the fact that they are showing up authentically which results in far greater intimacy.

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If you broke up with your boyfriend, they will help you to deal with the heartache and move on. Boys or girls can complicate the picture even more at times. Other people don’t need ‘fixing,’ they simply need to be loved unconditionally. Trust is a BIG word, and a very loaded word, and a critical concept to understand if we are to have healthy and safe relationships. Straightforward.

Good friends know the difference between a heartfelt apology (I’m sorry I hurt you), and a disingenuous apology (I’m sorry your feelings got hurt). It’s easier for them to hide behind “I don’t want to hurt your feelings.” Thing is, good friends share. Where is there room for improvement? Good friends are committed to mending and fixing and doing damage control when shit hits the fan.

Good listening is one of the greatest gifts we can give those we love. Brene helps us better understand what trust is, and what we mean when we tell someone we don’t trust them anymore. They keep our ‘stuff’ and vulnerabilities in an impenetrable vault.

Not only do you need to forgive, but you need friends that can forgive as well. Don’t underestimate the power and healing of good listening.

The real authentic you is always far more lovable than the fake you. Forgiving. Friends who don’t take things personally are so much easier to be with.

It’s not as easy to sit with loved ones in their grief and sadness. 6. What Is Resilience and Why Is It Important for Success? It is great to have a friend that can help you to see the humor in every situation.

It seems like the best friends are the ones who are always interested in having a good time. Becoming a better listener will dramatically improve the quality of your friendships because it will deepen your connection. They will donate their time and effort because it is important to you. Here are a few characteristics: Whether it is your secret crush or a problem you have at school or home, everyone has secrets.

Last year I went through a big low and whenever I’m feeling low I tend to lose my appetite and it’s easy for me to lose a good amount of weight, fast (which is not something I can afford to do).

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What an observant friend.

They will be honest about their feelings and meet your honesty with understanding. 8. You need to be able to trust that your secrets are going to stay just that: secrets. As my therapist loves to say, intimacy isn’t safe. It’s never safe. You will find them fun and you will have things that you can do together.

For example, if your parents divorce, a good friend will help you to work through your emotions and hurt.

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